Pain
by AWoodenRose
Summary: Love is something that is hard to find. How many frogs does Matthew have to kiss before he falls in love with his prince?
1. Broken

_So this is Chapter 1 of Pain. I'm sorry the paragraphs are so short! I hope no one minds. Anyway enjoy the first chapter~_

* * *

Matthew sat in his room sobbing sadly and holding his life-size teddy bear in his arms.

"Who are you?" He thought it had said.

Matthew didn't respond his tears trickled down his face and dropped painfully onto the floor.

"Mattie?" A voice asked at the door.

The Canadian put the bear back in his closet and rubbed his sleeve across his face.

"Come in." Matthew said a lump in his throat.

His retarded American brother walked in.

"Dude, have you seen Tony?" Alfred asked.

"Tony?" Matthew replied.

"Yeah, my alien Tony." The American said.

"No." Matthew said his voice about to crack with tears.

"Right. I'll go ask Arthur then." Alfred said running out of the room.

More tears fell from the Canadians face. Yet a smile ran across it as well.

"Kumajiro." Matthew said.

"Who are you?" He heard a muffle from the closet.

"Matthew." The Canadian said taking the bear back out of the closet.

"I can't believe she actually broke up with me." Matthew had said.

"Who?" The bear had asked.

The Canadian blinked. "Katyu-." Matthew was incapable of finishing his sentence because the Frenchman had rushed through the open doorway nothing but a rose covering his crotch.

"So I overheard you have girl issues, correct?" The Frenchman asked.

"Francis." Matthew said.

The Frenchman had suddenly pulled out a bottle of wine and a glass quenching his own thirst.

"So, this girl. Who is she?" Francis asked.

"Katyusha." Matthew said.

"Oh that Ukrainian girl with the large chest who I had taken a liking to, the only thing that had disappointed me is that she still wasn't eighteen."

"Eighteen?"

"Yes, eighteen."

"She's going to graduate from the high school this year." The Canadian said.

"Oh, and then she'll be eighteen. So, what had happened between you and her? A kiss? Or better yet sex?" Francis asked.

"No, we were going out and she broke up with me." Matthew said clutching his teddy bear.

The Frenchman had frozen. "She broke up with you?" Francis asked.

"Yes, I-I cried." Matthew said.

"Oh, well. Would you like a sip to make you feel better?" The Frenchman asked.

The Canadian shook his head no. He would have rather express his feelings through his tears then alcohol.

"How did she break your little Canadian heart? Text? Phone Call? By her self? Or during sex?" Francis asked.

"Her little brother came up to me during lunch and told me 'Katyusha is breaking up with you' in his strong Russian accent." Matthew said.

"Oh, did you ever get to second base at all?"

"No. I've never even had sex yet." The Canadian hesitated to say.

The Frenchman's eyes rolled to the back of his and then he passed out, his wine spilling onto the snow white carpet.

The Canadian picked up the Frenchman and set him on his bed, and called his American brother for the Oxy Clean.

When his brother arrived he looked at the naked Frenchman on the Canadians bed. He stared for a moment and then handed him the cup of water and cleaner. The Canadian dumped the water and cleaner onto the stain and just let it sit.

"Did you find your alien?" Matthew asked.

"No. He probably took his spaceship to the moon or something." Alfred said.

"Oh." Matthew said.

"I heard about you issue." The American said.

"Issue?" The Canadian said the word rusty in his mouth.

"Yeah, about that sexy Ukrainian girl you were dating."

"She was more then that, to me."

"What was she to you?" Alfred asked.

"She was so nice and cute, and I…I liked her because she knew who I was most of the time. I didn't love her just because she had a large chest." Matthew said.

"Right." The American said rolling his eyes.

The Canadian smirked; he didn't know why he just did.

"Why are you being so weird, Mattie?" Alfred asked.

"Weird? In what way?" Matthew asked.

"Like, psychopath weird. It's like that smirk is a sign your gonna kill me, or something."

The Canadian shook his head and realized it was just his subconscious speaking to him.

"Hey, Mattie!" The American exclaimed.

"Huh?"

"How 'bout we go out for ice cream?"

"Ok-." The Canadian couldn't finish his sentence because he was being dragged out the door.

"Yo Arthur! I'm taking Matt out for ice cream!" Alfred yelled.

"Okay. Where's Francis?" The English man asked.

"Uh…naked on Matt's bed." Alfred said.

"Naked!" Arthur asked.

"Unconscious on my bed, but naked." Matthew said.

"Well see ya later!" The American said.


	2. Ice Cream

_Who doesnt love ice cream with their brother? Second Chapter of Pain~  
I hope the paragraphs are longer..._

* * *

The American and Canadian sat at a small table eating ice cream sundaes. The American's was vanilla pilled up with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. The Canadian's was just a small bowl with the new flavoured ice cream of maple syrup.

"You know it's not bad. Breaking up with people is a good thing." The American muffled through the spoonfuls of ice cream he shoved down his throat.

"But she was a good person." Matthew said.

"Matt, girls are like from Jupiter or something." Alfred said lying back against the booth.

"How do you know that?" Matthew asked.

"I had Tony check. He said that they were from Jupiter" Alfred said.

Matthew rolled his eyes at the American boy. He was making no sense at all. The bell ran at the ice cream shops door. Matthew looked up to see Katyusha and her little sister, Natalya. Matthew buried his head in the red sweater he was wearing.

"What is it, Mattie?" Alfred asked turning to see the door.

"Oh your ex, look Matt you got to get use to it. All people run into old girlfriends a lot." Alfred said.

"Thanks for the advice, Alfred. I don't really want to be here right now. I'll see you at home." The Canadian said.

As Matthew walked out of the ice cream shop, Alfred yelled at him for money. The Canadian ignored the whole situation. Matthew had tears forming in his eyes. So he ran down an alleyway between an old '70s dinner and a night club.

"Matthew! I need money! Where did yo-?" Matthew heard his American brother calling him for money. "Oh my god! They serve hamburgers here!" The American got completely of topic do to the hamburgers.

Matthew began to cry, when something soft touched his hand. The thing that touched his hand peeped.

"What's a chick doing in an alleyway?" The Canadian asked picking up the chick.

"Gilbird!" A voice called down the alleyway.

The chick peeped again. Someone ran down the alleyway and tripped falling on Matthew. The chick peeped again.

"You found, Gilbird." The person said.

"Yeah, here you go." Matthew said holding out the chick to the person.

The person took the bird and stuck him on top of their head.

"So who are you?" The person asked.

"Matthew." The Canadian said.

"You mean, the Matthew who eats pancakes for lunch?" The person said.

"That's me, who are you?" Matthew asked.

"Gilbert." Gilbert said.

Matthew started walking out of the alleyway. Gilbert followed.

"Hey, Matthew!" Gilbert yelled as they turned there separate ways.

Matthew turned to look at the Prussian.

"You should come hang out with me, tonight." Gilbert said.


	3. Scones

_I fine scones quite delicous unless their cooked by Arthur...then its more of a face towards Cancer yes yes? I think some people may agree with me no?_

* * *

Back at the house, Arthur was busy "cooking" scones. As for Francis, he had just awoken in Matthews room. Francis walked into the room he shared with Arthur and changed into his daily outfit or "flashy" clothing as Arthur had called it.

Francis walked into the kitchen and "raped" Arthur when he wasn't looking.

"Bloody hell!" Arthur yelled slapping the Frenchman across the face. "You shouldn't come sneaking up behind people you bloody git!"

"Now Angleterre."

"Don't 'now Angleterre' me!" Arthur yelled.

The door opened and the two stopped fighting.

"Jesus, what the hell is burning?" Alfred asked.

"My scones!" Arthur yelled turning to look at the oven.

"You mean if-you-eat-it-you-puke-your-guts-out." The American said.

Arthur turned and glared at Alfred. Alfred stood there grinning. Francis on the other hand was drinking his box wine that had appeared out of nowhere.

The door opened again and the thin Canadian boy walked in.

"Hey you owe me money!" Alfred yelled.

"Alfred, please don't start." Matthew said.

"What's up with you? First you're all emo on me, and now you're all whiny. What did you do? Is it a girl?" Alfred asked.

"No, its n-nothing." Matthew said.

"You met a girl! What's her name?" The American harassed the Canadian.

"Leave me alone!" Matthew snapped and ran to his room.

Matthew through himself on his bed, looking at the scissors he used to trim his curl when it got to long. Matthew picked up the pair of scissors, pointing them at his wrist. Katyusha clouded his mind. The scissors slid across his wrist. Matthew first looked at his bed spread. Then squealed like a little girl. It felt nice. So he did again on his other arm.

"Matthew are you okay?" Alfred's voice was at the door.

The Canadian pulled his sleeves down so they covered his arms.

"Come in!" Matthew yelled sitting up.

The American boy walked in and sat next to his brother.

"So, do I get to know who this girl is?" He asked.

"Who said it's a girl, what if I made a friend?" Matthew said.

"Wait are you gay!" Alfred asked.

Matthew hesitated.

"So you are!"

"I don't know, Alfred, I'm just a teenager so why not experiment?"

"Whatever, just try not to be something your not, I love you a lot."

"Look who's being gay now." Matthew said.

"Just letting you know I care! Arthur and Francis care about you as well!" Alfred snapped and ran out of the room.

"Like Gilbert would be gay, he only cares about that chick." Matthew said looking at the blood that was coming from his wrist.

"Oi! Dinners ready!" Arthur yelled.

Matthew left his room and sat at the dining table. Looking at the black food at his plate, Matthew poked at it with his fork.

"Its hard." Matthew said.

"I'd rather have a hamburger." Alfred said.

The Frenchman came in and looked at his food. He gagged just at the smell.

"Can I excuse myself?" The Canadian asked.

"Why would you do such a thing? I spent time making a meal for you." Arthur said.

"I'm not really hungry, I still full from the ice cream. Just save it and if I get hungry later I'll eat it."

"Fine, waste it." Arthur muttered.

"I don't want to eat it. I'm gonna go out for a hamburger." Alfred said leaving the dinning room.

"What about you, Francis?" Arthur asked.

Francis just left the room. He didn't want to have a chance of getting cancer just from eating one meal.

"So no one is going to eat it?" The Englishman yelled.

"_Obviously._" The Canadian thought to himself.

Matthew went to his room. He was restless. He was thinking about what Alfred had said.

"He never told me that he loved me." He said to the life-size teddy bear that he was pulling out of the closet.

"Who are you?" He thought the bear had said.

"Kumajiro, it's me Matthew."

"Who?"

The Canadian sighed and looked at his digital clock that sat on his desk. 7:10 P.M. the day was going by so slowly.

"When did he say he would be here? Eight?" The Canadian asked himself. "I think Arthur should be at his little pub by then."

There was a knock at his door. Matthew threw the bear back in the closet and opened the door. Arthur stood there.

"I'm leaving for work soon, I'll be back at ten. Don't do anything stupid like your idiot brother does." He said.

The Canadian nodded. He wasn't going to do anything stupid, except for sneak out of the house for a couple of hours.

After an hour past, some one rang the doorbell to the small house that was empty. The small Canadian looked out his bedroom window to see who was at the door. It was Gilbert. His chick sat atop his head.

"Come in!" Matthew yelled.

Gilbert came in.

"You ready?" Matthew asked.

Gilbird cheeped.

"Apparently Gilbird said its time to go. So let's go." Gilbert said.

"Did he really say that?"

"No, but I know him."

"So where are we going?" Matthew asked.

"A small tavern near this park."

"Oh lets go, then."


	4. A Mistake?

_Okay so this may be the last Chapter I post in a while because my computer has a virus on it but of all things tell your friends that 4 Chapters of my FRUKed Up fanfic are up yes yes?_

* * *

By eight thirty Matthew, Gilbert, and Gilbird arrived at a bar.

"I don't know if I could go in here." Matthew said.

"Why? I just have to check in with my boss to make sure that I don't get fired, again."

Gilbert pulled Matthew in the pub. Matthew wishes he wasn't here. He knew this Arthur's pub. Matthew looked around while Gilbert ran to the back room. A couple of Asian men sat by the storage room, and two Italian men sat by the bathrooms smoking cigars.

"This tavern is so shady." Matthew whispered.

"Okay then lets go." Gilbert said sending chills down Matthews's spine.

"Alright." Matthew said.

Gilbert took Matthew by the hand. Matthews heart was shot with warmth and feeling. Of course Matthew didn't know why it had done that. He also didn't know why Gilbert was holding his hand. Was this a sign that Gilbert liked Matthew? Matthew stopped as they walked down the street.

"What's wrong with you?" Gilbert asked.

"Why are you acting like this? Normally you would hang out with that Hungarian girl, Elizabetha or that Austrian, Roderich." Matthew said.

"Those two are busy these days." Gilbert said.

"So, busy or not you would normally do something stupid and everyone at school would hear about it. Why me? Out of all people you chose me to be your new best friend." Matthew said.

"No, I think I love you." Gilbert said.

"What?" The Canadian asked.

The Prussian boy purposely stumbled and ended up kissing the Canadian. Gilbert's eyes were completely closed due to his "fall" and Matthew was just surprised so he kept his eyes open. Of course the kiss lasted along time and Matthew fell into it. When Gilbert pulled away, Matthew wanted to make this kiss last longer.

"I-I don't know what to say." Matthew said softly.

Both the Prussian and Canadian had trouble expressing their feelings, including if it was towards each other. The moon started to shine on Gilberts albino hair. Matthews sleeves were rolled up and Gilbert saw the fresh scars that were turning deep red.

"Matthew, did you do that?" Gilbert asked.

Matthew nodded. He didn't want to cut himself. It was because of Katyusha. Yet Matthew couldn't blame her.

"Why?" Gilbert asked.

"Katyusha, the Ukrainian girl that's graduating this year, we were dating at a point in time and we broke up. I was super heartbroken. So I cut myself." The Canadian said. "I'm not really ready for another relationship."

Gilbert was silent for a long time. He eventually turned and walked away. Gilbird was on his head peeping. Matthew waited until Gilbert was out of sight.

"That kiss was a mistake wasn't it?"


	5. Dr Alfred

_I think I know why most of us hate Dr. Phil...or at least this is now the reason why I can't look at Dr. Phil the same way again..._

* * *

When Matthew got home it was only nine thirty. He walked through the front door. When he walked in he heard his American brother scream like a little girl.

"Alfred it's me." Matthew said.

"Oh, don't let yourself in like that!" Alfred yelled.

"I live here. Why shouldn't I?"

"I-I saw that new horror movie. Ice cream doesn't help very much, maybe a hamburger does." Alfred said.

"Alfred, I have gi-bo-problems."

"What problems? The ones with your boyfriend?"

"How did you know?" Matthew asked.

"You're my brother, how do I not know? Not just that I hired this Asian guy on your ass, he was watching you and Gilbert. He sent me an e-mail after you two walked away from each other."

"So you know that I kissed him."

"You didn't kiss him, he kissed you!" Alfred said. "Gay fits you, don't give it up."

Matthew felt like he died a little. His American brother wanted him to be gay. Matthew went to his room and picked up the scissors he used to cut himself. He looked at them. There were brown streaks that lined the scissors.

"Should I?" He asked himself.

There was a muffle coming from the closet.

"Kumaichi!" The Canadian said.

He opened his closet and picked up the large white teddy bear. Matthew held the bear in his arms. He cuddled it like a newborn baby.

"Who are you?" He thought the bear said.

"Matthew, remember?"

The bear was silent. So was the Canadian boy.

"Kumaichi?" Matthew said.

"Who are you?" The bear said.

"Matthew! Do you think my bo-friend doesn't like me the way I like him."

"Of course he likes you!" An Americans voice yelled.

"Alfred!" The Canadian felt like he jumped.

"Yes?" Alfred asked.

"What are you doing!" Matthews's soft voice was rising in a sharp anger.

"I'm gonna be your Dr. Phil!"

"My Doctor who?"

"Dr. Phil you know that guy that solves relationship problems. He's old and has a moustache and stuff."

"No, Alfred, I don't know who you're talking about." Matthew said.

"I'm not Alfred to you I'm Dr. Alfred!" The American said.

"Well what are you going to do?" The Canadian asked.

"First you're going to be a man and throw that teddy bear away."

"I can't! Francis gave this to me when I was just a little kid." Matthew said.

"Fine, keep it. Well what do I do next?" Alfred was talking to himself. "Um…honestly I don't know."

"Do you think Gilbert likes me?" Matthew asked.

"Of course he does! Or did that kiss never happen?"

"It happened but after he saw…something he walked away."

"What did he see?" Alfred asked his glasses were falling off his nose.

"You can't tell Arthur or Francis if I show you." Matthew said.

"Okay." Alfred said.

"Nobody, you can't tell anyone. If you do I'll…I don't know what I'll do but it'll be your worst nightmare." Matthew said.

"I get it now show me!" Alfred said.

Matthew pulled up his sleeve. The marks had gotten darker and they looked deeper. They looked like special effects out of a movie.

"I thought I told you not to be something your not." Alfred sounded disappointed.

"I don't know what made me do this. Honest." The Canadian said.

The American boy turned away and held onto the door knob. His head was hung in shame. Matthew couldn't believe it. His blunt, idiotic, annoying, American brother was sad. Matthew felt horrible. He felt like his stomach acid was eating away at his organs. He had hurt his brother, the one that had always been there for him when he needed it.

Matthew held onto his life-sized teddy bear and crawled into his bed. He fell into a long sleep.


	6. The Hero

_Everyone has a hero, but does it really matter who it is?_

* * *

The Canadian boy was somewhere. It was a world full of white snow. Matthew was traveling deeper and deeper into some sort of mystical wonderland of white. When his eye was caught by a younger version of himself, it was a small fragile Canadian boy. He had the same blond hair as Matthew and the same exact curl, he wore a blue dress shirt and a brown vest over it, he wore a dark green pair of pants and white socks his shoes were black and what his American brother called girly shoes at the time. The younger Matthew held onto a smaller Kumajiro. When the older Matthew remembered this day, this day he never wanted to re-visit.

"Don't go any further!" The older Matthew tried to yell to the younger Matthew.

The smaller Canadian kept on running through the snow. When he hit someone or something and fell over. It was a girl only a couple years older then Matthew was. It was the younger Katyusha. The little and frail Canadian boy fell in love with her right there. Yet Katyusha screamed. She thought some pervert was trying to grope her again.

A Russian boy showed up to aid Katyusha. It was Ivan. He was only a little younger then her, but taller and was always there for both his sisters [more likely his eldest sister because he wanted to stay away from the youngest one].

The smaller Canadian tried to explain about how it was just an accident. Ivan wouldn't listen. He wouldn't let anyone just go for touching his sister inappropriately. Not even if it was a weaker Matthew.

Ivan took out his water pipe that came from nowhere. The older Canadian held his breath as the Russian took his first swing at the younger Canadians stomach. He heard a painful scream.

Only five hits in and another smaller figure came to aid the young Canadian boy. It was his American brother. He was wearing the cowboy costume he made for himself. He also had a rope in hand. He took the pipe from the Russian with his rope so he wouldn't hurt himself.

"You should leave him alone." The young Alfred said.

"Or what you're going to get some cowboy friends on me?" The young Ivan said.

"Worse." The young Alfred said.

"How worse?" The Russian said.

"I know a guy who has some demon summoning powers."

The Russian wasn't scared. Yet he turned and took his sisters hand taking her home.

"Mattie! Mattie are you okay?" The young Alfred was scared that his brother was almost facing death.

The young Matthew had trouble breathing since his guts were technically smashed in. He had trouble talking as well. He used all his strength to nod to tell his brother "yeah, I'm fine".

"When I heard you scream, I was so scared, I thought you were dead for sure." Alfred said dropping the water pipe and picking up Matthew on his back to take him home.

"Alfred?" The young Matthew said.

"What up?" Alfred said.

"Your…you're my hero." Matthew said.

"I'm the hero aren't I?" Alfred said with a grin on his face.

A smaller Kumajiro was lying in the crimson snow next to a bloody pipe and dyed red rope. It was a memory of a day that the older Canadian didn't want to remember. One because he couldn't ever look at snow the same way again and two because his brother became his first hero. Now the older Canadian wanted to remember. He wanted his brother to be his hero, nobody else's.

"I'm sorry, Alfred, I truly do love you." Matthew said tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry, that I disappointed you."

The Canadian was left in the snow, crying tears that turned into icicles.

Matthew awoke startled by his own tears. He was screaming with pain. Alfred ran into the room, with his American flag boxers on and his "Proud American" t-shirt.

"Matt, what's wrong?" The American asked.

"I love you!" Matthew screamed.

Alfred felt fuzz fall into his heart. This was the first time Matthew ever said I love you to anyone.

"I love you, to?" Alfred said confused.

"No, you're my first love. Remember? When we were just kids and Ivan Braginski beat my guts in. I was in the hospital for awhile, you were there each day. Making sure I was well until I got out. You're my hero." Matthew said.

Alfred stopped breathing for a minute. He didn't know what to say to Matthews touching words.

"Alfred, are you alright?" Matthew asked.

The American searched the Canadians face for something. Then it happened. Alfred kissed Matthew for the first time. Everything seemed to stop to Matthew. Alfred had kissed tons of people. Matthew had only kissed two, Katyusha being his first kiss, Gilbert his second. Yet to Matthew this was truly his very first kiss. His first kiss from his first love.


	7. Epilogue

The next day at school, Matthew was still the loner kid, the invisible one. He sat in the back of the class like always; his teacher was still forgetting to call his name for attendance. Whenever he was the only one in his class raising his hand because he had the answer his teacher ignored him. At lunch he sat alone in the cafeteria like always eating pancakes.

He ran into Gilbert and Gilbird. Gilbert smiled at him. Gilbird peeped.

"Hey, Matthew!" Gilbert said.

Matthew sighed and looked at him sadly.

"Look, I'm sorry for what I did. Can I have a second chance?" Gilbert asked.

Matthew didn't even hesitate one second. "No." He said and walked away.

He kept on walking to the library to get a book he needed for his next class. When he tripped on his own two feet and came face to foot with someone's feet. He stood up and brushed himself off and looked at the person. It was Katyusha and her sister Natalya. One of the boys the Russian was "friends" with stood behind her shaking. It was the Lithuanian, Toris.

"What do you want, Alfred?" The Ukrainian girl asked.

"Nothing! Its Matthew, I'm not Alfred." The Canadian said sharply. "I'm just on my way to the library." Matthew felt like he was shaking like Toris.

Katyusha was slightly taller then Matthew. She bent over slightly and kissed his forehead. Matthew didn't move he just stared at her.

"I'm sorry, Matthew! I didn't mean to mistake you for Alfred! I hope that made up for it."

"Sure." Matthew said. "Look I better go before class starts. I have to get this book."

"I hope we see each other again, soon." Katyusha said.

Matthew nodded. He was still slightly in love with Katyusha, but he would always be in love with Alfred.

* * *

_I hope this ending wasn't to dramatic or FRUKed up in anway...I really did enjoy writing this fanfic. I think it was a good one for my first fanfic ever! Thank you to everyone who faves it because I love you for it~_


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